Day 24: holding onto familiarity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer the familiar past than the unknown future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer the familiar people from the past than the unknown future people, thinking and believing that familiarity is comforting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself myself to seek comfort in familiarity, familiar locations, familiar cities and countries, familiar faces, familiar cultures and food, familiar customs, routines, and familiar habits and thinking patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and experience anxiety when any shake up happens in the familiar things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear moving, be it moving living spaces or moving jobs, because I fear and anxious about the unfamiliar new adventures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize familiarity is not a constant, people move, leave, die, living spaces have to be moved, jobs have to be changed, relationships change, relocation happens, change is ever so constant in life, opening up new and adventurous opportunities to expand. Within this I forgive myself for stagnating myself with familiarity, and fear to expand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the words, “change is the only constant”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious and nervous whenever a shake up happens in the familiar settings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the news badly, and react sadly, not that the person has had died or anything like that, but only moved, creating a vacuum in my life and kind of shaking up my familiar setting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel empty when familiar people leave my familiar settings, as if a part of me departs with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize everyone is me in another life, and everything is an extension of myself, so in that sense, with every departure, yes a part of me leaves, because that part is equal and one as life as me, we’re equal in substance, but I see/realize yes they leave my familiar setting only, as in substance, in source that oneness is inseparable, no thing is ever truly separated from another, no person is truly inseparable from another. Life is one, one and equal. I see/realize there will be a momentarily sadness when a familiar person or thing leaves the familiar space, but I see/realize that leaving is not an eternal termination of our oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize the mind likes familiarity, it likes familiar people, familiar cultures, places, jobs, etc, because then it can easily cut off not so familiar things and people as ‘unknown’, or ‘strangers’, and remember the childhood lesson, “fear and avoid the strangers, or else they will abduct you”. Within this I forgive myself for fearing anything unfamiliar.

I am grateful for the times spent, the moments and communications we shared, but now the time has come for the being to move, to leave the familiar setting once we shared, and within this I see there will be some sadness, but soon it will go away, and space will open up for new life opportunities. Of course the being hasn’t left the existence, have they? Life cannot leave life, life is one, one and equal.

I am not bounded by familiarity, I commit myself to let go of the comfort I seek in familiarity, and embrace the unfamiliar. I see/realize embracing the unfamiliar is a way to expand myself, embracing parts of me that I never knew existed. But to prefer and be stuck in familiarity, I see I am creating a limitation.

I remember when I first immigrated leaving behind everything that was familiar to me upto that point in my life, it was shocking and scary, familiar people, culture, a country, friends, relatives, family, food, weather, and boldly going to a new country, leaving behind the familiarity, and look now, some 30 years later, a lot of that familiarity has faded, and a new familiarity has taken its place. Life does go on. But that’s not to say to kick the past familiarizes, no, be grateful for those times, I wont’ be here without my past, and past familiarity, all those people, all those times of the yesteryears helped me to get here. Life is one, one and equal. But when time comes for others to move on, I must not hold them back in my mind, for the sake of familiarity, I let them go with gratitude instead, inviting the new unknown.

Life goes on, not in separation, but in oneness and equality as life does not ever leave life.

Thanks for reading, inspired by #desteni

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